On My Heart- Self Conscious Thoughts

August 02, 2013

I've never been one to be self conscious. Shy maybe, but being self conscious about a certain part of my body has never been an issue for me until now. Even in high school, I didn't feel insecure about myself because honestly I was quite proud of my skinny, toned, athletic figure. Of course, I can thank all those years of track and cross country workouts for that as well as my very high metabolism which has definitely been a life saver for me these post high school years.  However, it wasn't until I found out I would be having surgery that I really started thinking about appearance and how it affects so many of us on the daily.

I never in a million years imagined at age 21 I'd be having surgery, but it's one of those things that you just can't control. I knew from the beginning that surgery was the best option to correct my problems and ensue my reproductive health, however the thought of altering my appearance in anyway has been hard for me to accept throughout this whole process. I now have five unattractive healing incisions on my stomach that i'm not too fond of showing off to the world. Luckily, the only time I'll ever have to worry about exposing my stomach is when wearing a swimsuit which has me in a dilemma considering every swimsuit I've ever owned is a bikini. I don't feel that I'll never wear a bikini again, but for the time being while I'm recovering I'd feel more secure in my own skin if my stomach was covered, so I put together a few of my favorite one piece swimsuits that I'm seriously considering adding to my swimwear collection. There is always a first for everything right?

I do not regret having surgery and one thing that I know is that I have to put my trust in the Lord for he knows my future and had this in store for me long before I was created. He knew that I could handle the immense amount of pain that I went through and that I'd overcome this obstacle feeling blessed.  However, it's hard not to be self conscious when we live in a world full of judgmental people.  I'm doing the best that I can with what I've been given considering I'm a beach loving gal who lives on the coast so until the day comes that I can feel good in a bikini again I'll just sport my one piece proudly :)


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4 COMMENTS

  1. Hugs! :) You are beautiful no matter what.

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  2. Those one piece suits are adorable!! And we're all self conscious about things, but just know that you're beautiful no matter what.

    Shelby xoxo

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  3. Never feel insecure about it! Those scars will heal. Just remember confidence is what makes a woman beautiful.

    xo
    Christina
    pieceitalltogetherx3.blogspot.com

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  4. All of those one pieces are adorable! But wear your stripes like a tiger - with pride. Never let anyone make you feel insecure about your body!!

    I found your blog through the blog hop and I'm so happy I did!

    xo Becky
    Seductive Mania

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